Maria, madre mia.
[Wanted poster for La Virgencita, a Brown woman in a blue-green shawl with stars on it. There is a header that says ”STATE OF ARIZONA” under which is “Office of the president”. The word “Wanted” is huge and bold, with “terrorist” under it, and the name “La Virgen de Guadalupe” under that. Her aliases are listed as “Guadalupe, Reina de las Americas, Virgencita, Nuestra Madre, Tonantzin, Lupe, Lupita”. Her description is given as being five feet, one hundred pounds, with a medium build and black hair and dark brown eyes. She has a dark brown complexion, with scars and marks unknown. The languages she speaks are Nahuatl, Zapotec, Yaqui, Punepucha (I think, it’s hard to read), Maya, and Spanish. Her birth date is given as 12/12/1531, her race is listed as “American-Indian”, and her nationality is listed as “American”.
This information is followed with “SHOULD BE CONSIDERED POWERFUL AND DANGEROUS” in bold. Under which her occupation is listed as cult leader, human trafficking terrorist, their remarks are given as La Virgen de Guadalupe always covers her head with a star patterned shawl and wears long, rose patterned dresses. She is accompanied by a young child (possibly drugged) who wears wings and pretends he is flying. Her criminal record says: For over 360 years, La Virgen de Guadalupe has accompanied countless men, women, and children illegally into the USA. She has given limitless aid and comfort to unidentified suspects at the time of their death, especially in the desert area near the U.S./Mexico border.
Caution: She has an unexplainable possibly dangerous light emanating from her body which could contain explosive material. She is known to have a large, loyal cult following.
Reward: The State of Arizona is offering up to $500,000 for any information leading directly to the apprehension and conviction of La Virgen de Guadalupe.
IF YOU HAVE INFORMATION CONCERNING THIS PERSON PLEASE CONTACT THE ARIZONA STATE RANGERS OR YOUR LOCAL IMMIGRATION AND CUSTOMS ENFORCEMENT OFFICE]
Sorry it’s two days late.
oh. my. tonantzin. <3